Can I make it?
*Trips and falls*….
This sums up my internal / physical struggle from this afternoon when I went on a run. I love running and I love this grand old city Boston, but I hate running in the city of Boston. I’m a naturally impatient person and I don’t enjoy stopping when I run so yeah, the slow pedestrians and intersections are like mini death sentences for me. Luckily, the intersections and I have a found a compromise: I run in place when I reach them then when all is clear, I go.
Today I reached the intersection, jogging in place as I saw two cars (one in each lane) going the same speed. I usually have a good sense of judgment when I cross the street on runs, but today that sense of judgment was MIA. I could clearly see that the chances of one or both of the cars hitting me was quite high, but my brain seemed to have been in off mode.
“YES!” my mind screamed as part of my body attempted to lurch into the street, but “NO!” an even louder internal voice screamed as I literally tripped sideways nearly twisting my ankle. Cue the embarrassing stares as people look to see if I’m okay–which I thankfully was. I was able to cross the street at a safer time and continue my run as if nothing had happened, but something did happen.
I can’t fully describe how or why, but I feel like this small incident was actually God’s way of reminding me how He works. Time and time again there is something I rationalize and analyze to death, thinking it makes perfect sense, yet when I decide to carry it out I feel God saying “No,” and that no comes in the form of pain from closed opportunities, mistakes or even failure. In the moment those pains seem so significant and hard to comprehend because I always fail to realize that God says “no” and puts us through trying circumstances because in that pain is an overwhelming amount of protection.
And I forgot to add that I’m a hopeless romantic and I’ve always dreamed of having prince charming save me as I fall into the street and well today, my True One and Only Prince Charming did save me :).